Pain Relief in Labour

You may have noticed that I am not a woman. I’ve never given birth to a baby, and I will never know if childbirth actually hurts as much as a kick in the bollocks. Although I have an idea.

Yet despite all of this, I am aware of the taboo surrounding the choice of pain relief available to those ladies trying to squeeze something the size of a watermelon through something the size of a f*****g kiwi! Bravo ladies, bravo.

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Let’s Talk About NCT

I’d heard about NCT, but never really knew what it was. I just kind of imagined a room full of pregnant women all lying on the floor, leaning on their partners, making all kinds of crazy sounds while they practiced breathing techniques.

It turns out there’s a lot more to it than that. Although I should mention that there was this one time (at band camp) in one session where all the women were lying on the floor, leaning over a chair or sitting on a ball, being cuddled, stroked, massaged and spooned by their partner. But that was as weird as it ever got. I promise.

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The Joy’s of Hereditary Hair Loss

I remember when I was a young lad, I used to make fun at my Dads hair loss. It felt like everyone made fun of bald people back then. No, not bold people, bald people. You know. Those fellas with the sunroof on top. Those follicaly challenged folk.

Back then, having a fully shaved meant you were a bit of a thug. That was the association with it. Many a Grandma crossed the road when approached by a youth with a shaved head. Maybe that’s why for years men would cling onto that nasty bit of hair around the side and to the back. As that centre parting grew bigger and wider, still those tufty bits remained. Even Prince William for far too long clung on to what he had left until he welcomed the wonders of a set of clippers into his life. I don’t imagine he’s one for DIY grooming though. He probably has someone for that. And to clean up the mess afterwards!

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What Did The Person With Kids Say To The Person Without Kids?

We’re at that age now where most of our closest friends and family members are parents. Some have been parents for many years. So it’s fair to say they’re experienced in the art of parenting. They’ve survived the challenges of having a new baby, dealt with sleepless nights, irregular feeding patterns, exploding nappies, crying outbursts, terrible tantrums, the lot!

We however, just a couple of months away from the arrival of our wee one, have not experienced this first hand as yet. Don’t get me wrong, between us we’ve clocked up numerous hours of babysitting, changing nappies, putting baby to bed, 1st birthday parties, reading stories, being jumped on by overexcited nephews, the occasional whack in the gonads by a lightsaber, kneeling on a lego brick etc. But we appreciate that at the end of the day, the kids always went back to their parents and off we went for an uninterrupted nights sleep and a week of television that never once landed on a channel with a prefix of “C”.

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Baby Names

There is no process that myself and Jen have been through together, that has been as drawn out as much as compiling a list of potential names for our baby.

Car journey’s, pre-cinema drinks, weekend coffee & cake rituals, sitting on the toilet, these have all now been dedicated to time spent scrolling the internet for lists of potential names. If we’ve got time to drive, drink, eat and shit, then we’ve got time to look at some more names!

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