20 Truths about Becoming a First Time Dad

I’ve been a Daddy now for about 8 weeks. Hands down, it’s the best job I’ve ever had. If only it paid the bills!

I think I’m at a stage now where I can reflect on the first few weeks of parenthood, and list some of my truths about becoming a first time Dad.

  1. Your baby is a Grandma magnet. They pop up out of nowhere to take a look at your little ‘en. They’ll cross a main road, stalk you in a supermarket, even interrupt your lunch, just to get a look in.
  2. Say goodbye to time. You no longer have time to do anything. No time to cook dinner, no time to cut the grass, no time to blog. None.
  3. The worrying never stops. Even though you never thought you could worry more than you did while your partner was pregnant, you just wait until that first night at home when you go to bed!
  4. Tired? Yes, you will be. But fear not, it’s not nearly as bad as they made out it would be. Result!
  5. You know when that guy at work told you that you’ll be ready to come back to work after 2 weeks Paternity? You won’t. You’ll wish you were at home with your baby, every moment of every day.
  6. Going to bed requires the skills of a cat burglar. Don’t. Make. A. Sound.
  7. You don’t realise just how uneven the pavements and paths are surrounding your house, until you take your baby for a stroll in the pram for the first time.
  8. Poppers. So many poppers. And some a***hole out there thought it would be a good idea to add a third popper to those little vest tops.
  9. Get ready to eat dinner faster than you ever thought possible. Because your little one cares not that you’ve had a hard day at work and were looking forward to sittings down and eating dinner with your partner.
  10. You’ve never washed your hands as frequently as you do during that first week of parenthood. Might want to get in some hand cream. They sure do get sore.
  11. Thought you had enough storage for your photo’s? Nope. Your iCloud storage will run out within just a few days.
  12. Get ready to play tag. It’s really easy. You’re in a room looking after you baby. Your partner walks in. Tag! They’re it. Now get out of the room to do, well, whatever the hell you want. You’ll both play this game without even realising!
  13. Get ready to be told “you don’t understand” by your partner. How could you understand? You’re not at home all day with your baby. The sooner you agree to the statement the better.
  14. Be prepared for people to not know if it’s a boy or a girl. It’s fine. It’s no big deal. You’ll get over it.
  15. Not everyone is going to like the name you’ve chosen, but nobody will dare admit that to your face. It’s fun game trying to figure out who they are though.
  16. So. Many. Nappies! Sometimes more than one per change!
  17. Get ready for back ache like you’ve never had before. Resting your chin on your chest when looking down at your baby, is not a position your back agrees with.
  18. Muslins. You can never have enough. If anyone asks you if you need anything and you say you don’t, you’re wrong. You need muslins. Lots of muslins!
  19. Get ready to fall in love with your partners boobs all over again!
  20. Everyone has advice. Take in all of it. Nobody has ever given advice that did not work for them. There’s more than one way to raise a child.

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