It doesn’t seem like 5 minutes ago that I was writing about the first trimester. But here we are, the start of week 24, and heading towards the end of the second trimester (gulp!).
If only it took just a little longer to make a baby. If only there were just a few more “mesters” to get through. We could call them Quintmester or Sexmesters. Then maybe we’d have more time to figure sh*t out! Who wouldn’t enjoy a good old sexmester? Actually, I think I may have stumbled across a sexmester once when I was exploring the wonders of the world wide web back in 1996! But now’s not the time for that kind of confession!
During the first trimester, I discovered some interesting stuff. Like seeing how my partner got bigger boobs. Sounds great right fellas? Think again. Bigger boob’s ain’t all that! Believe me. Go check out my blog about the first trimester here.
I won’t lie, I got some stern looks and a few jabs to the old rib cage from Jen regarding that post. I think she’s just about over it by now. So what a perfect time to talk about the second trimester! Here goes…
Can You Feel It?
Sure, it’s one of those landmark moments when the daddy first feels the baby kick. But it’s not as straight forward as you putting your hand on your partners tummy, feeling a kick, saying “wow”, and then gazing into each others eyes, madly in love, and thinking how perfect your life is at that very moment.
Why not? Because to feel that first kick means you have had to deal with many a scalding look of disappointment from your baby making buddy after your response to the question “Did you feel that?” was “no” for the first 73 times!
There’s A Stranger In The Bed
I know what you’re thinking. Three in a bed. Me, her and baby. Well that’s not the stranger I’m referring to.
Imagine getting home late one night after you’ve been working late. You head straight upstairs because you know your darling is already tucked up in bed, because, well, it is after 9.45pm!
You quietly open the door, using only your phone as a light. But as you enter the room and take a look at the bed, something doesn’t quite seem right. Sure, it’s dark in there, so you don’t fully trust what you’re seeing. But there is unmistakably the outline of a 6 foot stranger in the bed next to you partner. Not only that, your partner is fully in spooning mode, legs wrapped around said stranger like a koala hugging a tree!
Now, an outside observer might forgive you for reaching for that baseball bat you keep under the bed and going all Kathy Bates on the stranger. But what they might not realise is that your sister in law gave your partner her pregnancy pillow (apparently that is an actual thing) in order to help her sleep on her side now she is no longer able to sleep on her front.
Luckily for me (and the pillow) I realised what was going and carried on with the task of getting into bed without making a sound. And a few weeks into sharing the bed with this feather stuffed stranger, I’ve just about gotten used to our king size sleeping space being split into three sections. One for the pillow, one for Jen, and one for me.
I guess you just have to choose your battles.
Remember that game of “did you feel that?” that you just spent that last few weeks playing? Well that game has now moved on some. As you approach the end of the second trimester, your partner’s got a brand new and exciting game. Are you ready for it? It’s called “Look Here!” and comes with a finger point and a demand that you stop what you’re doing immediately.
Gone are the days when you were frowned upon for not feeling a kick, now you have to stare intensely at a particular part of your partners tummy until you see a kick. Let me give you an example of how this fun game works.
Her: Look Here! (points)
Her: Keep looking!
Me: Was that it?
Her: No, that was bubbles.
Me: Was that it?
Her: No, that was just me flinching.
Her: Did you see that?
Sounds fun right? And you know what the most fun part is? You don’t even have to be there to play this game! She’ll send you videos! Several minutes long. But she won’t tell you at what point in the video the baby kicks, so you have to watch it all and see if you get the answer right! Fun times.
Weird Is Fine
If you’re like me, every flinch, strange sound and gasp your partner makes, causes you to worry. Every one is a step closer to you making the executive decision to wrap her up in cotton wool, bubble wrap and marshmallows until the due date.
When you ask what’s wrong, the answer is repeatedly “it just feels weird”. Unfortunately, this may cause your worrying brain to process multiple scenarios all at once, all of which do not play out well. In fact, you are absolutely certain that there must be something wrong, that maybe you should call the midwife, or maybe jump in the car and head straight to A&E.
But your partner remains calm, and is the one to assure you all is well. She is solid as a rock. Either that or just doesn’t want to admit it’s probably just gas!
After a while, you get used to the gasps, flinches and the weirdness. It turns out, weird is fine. It doesn’t stop you worrying of course. That’s never going to happen.
I’m going to worry about this child for undoubtably the rest of my life. Hopefully a little less each year though. I guess time will tell.
With only 16 weeks to go until the big day, I’m absolutely terrified, sorry, I mean, absolutely cannot wait to see what the next trimester will bring. Although, I’m pretty confident I know how it’s going to end!
T-minus 112 days!